Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Worry Wart

Today was a little emotionally taxing. 

I spent the weekend in Birmingham ( more on that later).
Tuesday was busy with going to Bible Study and acclimating to life as mom.  It was tiring but nice. 
But today. . . today was just plain emotionally taxing. 

Today I attended an Individual Education Plan meeting (IEP) for Little.  Her educational diagnosis was changed a month ago and that meant a second meeting had to be called to change her goals, etc.  The exciting thing was that Little has changed so much over the summer (her last IEP was in May), that it was going to be necessary to genuinely update a few of the goals because she has already met them.  Beyond that, I was told it would be a simple meeting to change her diagnosis, add a couple things since she now qualifies for more services, and we'd be done rather quickly.

The meeting was draining.  I lived a paradox for 90 min.  It was encouraging to hear how well Little is doing and yet a bit scary because I just don't want them to stop helping her.  It was encouraging to hear how far she has come and how good her attitude is.  At the same time, it is heart breaking to have to be there in the first place and that doesn't go away just because my heart is rejoicing that my little girl hopped twice on one foot and then twice in a row on the other foot for the FIRST TIME EVER!

It was draining because I was supposed to pick Bubba and KB up from school by 11:45 and at 11:30 I realized we weren't going to finish in time.  Honey was a rock star and went to get them without batting and eyelash.  (What a mighty good man.)

It was draining because tonight I saw Little pull a hair out of her head for the fist time in over four years.  Honey had mentioned her hair looked thin but we chalked it up to the fact she keeps pulling her hair bows out by herself and a hand full of hair usually comes with it.  But tonight she was sooo tired when I put her to bed and she was already nodding off before I even made it to the door.  I turned to look at her and she was reaching up to pull out a hair.  I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since.

Kasey - the Cabbage Patch doll who has sacrificed an entire head of hair so that Little could keep her own - is out of hair.  We got Little a new doll (with red hair, just like she requested) but she won't sleep with her.  I made her leave Naomi (the doll was named after the new cousin) on the bed tonight and she screamed as if she were being terrorized.  As soon as I made it to the bottom of the stairs I heard a noise that I am pretty sure was Naomi hitting the floor.

Needless to say, I am worried.  I am worried that my 1st grader is going to pull out her hair and look all Sinead O'Connor again.  It was cute-ish at 2, but kids are cruel . . . and elementary school is full of kids.

So, I am asking you (once again) to pray with us and for us.  Please pray that we will walk by faith and not by sight.  Please pray that God would see fit to curb this desire in Little OR that she would "take" to another baby doll.  Lastly, please pray that if God's plan for us involves Little pulling her hair out again, Honey and I would be faithful and steadfast.  Please ask that we would model Truth for our children.  That Little would know that her beauty is not found in her outward appearance (such as braiding the hair or wearing gold jewelry) but it is a gentle and quiet spirit.  Please Please Please pray. 

Thank you.
(This photo has nothing to do with anything, but I saw it and just couldn't not share it's cuteness with you.  You can thank me later.)


Debbie said...

Definitely an emotional roller coaster! How exciting to see how far God has brought Little to this point! I will definitely be praying in the ways you mentioned and that as you make your requests known to God, his peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

amy said...

love you. praying.

annaj said...

even as i type . . .

Anonymous said...

I have no words. I wish I could hug you and pray with you. Let's see each other soon.

Kim said...

I found your blog again! This time I will not loose it. It was great to see your hubby in stl only wish I could have seen you. I will definitely pray for yall. I have not seen these pictures of Little. I did not know that she pulled out all of her hair. I will definitely lift her and you up in my prayers!

Jo Ann said...

Praying for ya'll!

stephanie said...

Praying for you right now. Oh, Becky, I'm so sorry. You need that hymn back? :)