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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Intriguing

I have found myself to be fascinating.

What a weird thing to say, eh? Well, I have realized over the last couple of days that I have a hard time writing about the real tough stuff. Poop in the middle of a bedroom is tough in it's own right, but heart ache is on a different plane of tough. My pride doesn't mind someone else knowing that I "bravely" scooped the poop of multiple children; makes me look heroic in some sick and twisted way. My pride hates the thought that others will pity me.

Wow. So there is my sin laid bare before the world. Who does that?

Things with Bubba have been escalating. Constant variation in routine since November has really taken it's toll on our boy. There has been no time for recovery before his little mind has been bombarded with something else that differs from the norm and his anxiety level is maxing out. It is showing itself in crazy behavior. Crazy behavior = mood swings of teenage girl proportions and physical aggression. I have been on the phone with his teacher regularly and am so thankful for her. She loves my son. She "gets" my son. She has the training to help my son. What a blessing.

So, in a twist of irony, we have made a few changes which we hope will help with the anxiety caused by change. Bubs started going to school in the afternoon this week. The class is smaller but the teachers and therapists are the same. It's only been two days but the reports have been good. It will get harder before it gets better, but I am convinced it is going to be the best decision.

Watching him struggle to adjust is just heart breaking. After consulting with his "team" at school, we have made an appointment with a doctor to discuss medicinal options. This really makes me nervous but the hope of having a calmer and more adaptable son is motivating. Don't worry, I am not under the illusion that medicine will "fix" him or heal him - - just help him.

You can pray with us to that end.
Now, that wasn't so bad.

10 comments:

Debbie said...

Thanks for sharing your heart. I will be praying along with you.

amy said...

thanks for sharing the truth beyond the surface. i'll be praying for you and jeremy to have wisdom and much grace. love you.

Julia said...

I've always been intrigued by you my friend.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Becky, thanks for being vulnerable and allowing us to pray for you and lift up Bubs. What a special opportunity. Think I am speaking for everyone, we are here for you, let us know how we can help. Love, Glenda

Graham said...

Barry and I will be praying. We love having "bubba" in children's worship. Please know we are part of "bubba's team" We love you and your family!!

Shannon said...

Poor bubs! I'll pray for him. I don't really share my sin on the blog either. Some just isn't appropriate for the world to know, but some is. I need to be more open as well. By the way, I don't think roasting hotdogs in the mud is all that weird. Now if you rolled around in it too, that would be weird. You would have then crossed the line :)

Allison said...

Thank you sweet friend. I love you and wish you were close enough for a long chat face to face. I have tears in my eyes as I think about how difficult some of the decisions you are making must be. I don't want to offer an easy fix, but there is a fabulous chapter in sacred parenting about watching your children go through hardship...

annaj said...

i love you

Tassiegal.net said...

Dear Becky, Have been following your blog for a few weeks. I'm a grandmother from Down Under and just want to reach across the miles and give you a great big HUG. Can't do that, so will pray that our Heavenly Father would uphold you and your precious family, and especially for a large serving of His grace to you, Becky. Remember the old hymn " Marvelous grace of our loving Lord....." Love from Helen.

BKicklighter said...

Thank you, tassiegal! What dear encouragement from across the miles. I am blessed.