I have found myself to be fascinating.
What a weird thing to say, eh? Well, I have realized over the last couple of days that I have a hard time writing about the real tough stuff. Poop in the middle of a bedroom is tough in it's own right, but heart ache is on a different plane of tough. My pride doesn't mind someone else knowing that I "bravely" scooped the poop of multiple children; makes me look heroic in some sick and twisted way. My pride hates the thought that others will pity me.
Wow. So there is my sin laid bare before the world. Who does that?
Things with Bubba have been escalating. Constant variation in routine since November has really taken it's toll on our boy. There has been no time for recovery before his little mind has been bombarded with something else that differs from the norm and his anxiety level is maxing out. It is showing itself in crazy behavior. Crazy behavior = mood swings of teenage girl proportions and physical aggression. I have been on the phone with his teacher regularly and am so thankful for her. She loves my son. She "gets" my son. She has the training to help my son. What a blessing.
So, in a twist of irony, we have made a few changes which we hope will help with the anxiety caused by change. Bubs started going to school in the afternoon this week. The class is smaller but the teachers and therapists are the same. It's only been two days but the reports have been good. It will get harder before it gets better, but I am convinced it is going to be the best decision.
Watching him struggle to adjust is just heart breaking. After consulting with his "team" at school, we have made an appointment with a doctor to discuss medicinal options. This really makes me nervous but the hope of having a calmer and more adaptable son is motivating. Don't worry, I am not under the illusion that medicine will "fix" him or heal him - - just help him.
You can pray with us to that end.
Now, that wasn't so bad.