This was a big weekend for Honey. The new students have arrived for the upcoming semester at the seminary. Last night the President welcomed them with a reception and this morning was orientation and a barbecue.
It has been a hard weekend at home. I have had the kids by myself while Honey worked, of course. Bubba has been in rare form and I can't figure out what is actually the problem; Little has said, "I don't WANT to do it!!" and "Get away from me" more times than I can count; KB has said my name an equal amount of times, no doubt. I have been angry to the point of excusing myself from the room and I have used a harsher tone than I care to admit. I fled the scene this afternoon and our "Cushman" (her surname and what the children call her) came to stay with the kids and give me a break to refocus.
Times like this it is easy for me to begin believing lies about what the Father thinks of me. I wonder if He REALLY loves me; if my circumstances are a sick joke.
Just moments ago Honey stopped reading long enough to tell me he discovered today that one of the new seminary students has a son in Little's new Kindergarten class. Wow! What a joy for me. In that little class there is (at least) one other family that shares our values and convictions. I was hoping for that. Such a sweet reminder that the TRUTH is my God DOES love me. He is working all things together for good. This world is broken but His love is not.
2 comments:
Today, and even this week, I feel like I have failed my children.
I have to remind myself in a circular motion that I need to love my children as HE loves me.
Right now, I resolve to be better tomorrow.
We are broken - and He loves us all the more. Good that you got a break - wise move.
You're a wonder, Becky!
Love, ~Mad
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