Probably my longest post. . .

There was a time in my life when my biggest concerns centered on whether or not I was going to get married before Jesus came back. Seriously. I was single until just before I turned 30 and while that isn’t really old, I watched most of my friends get married (many from up close in a LOVELY bridesmaid’s gown that I have worn over and over again just like they promised – NOT) and swayed between loving my adventures as a single and wanting a husband and family.

During this overly mature phase in my walk with the Lord, I attended church with my parents and remember the pastor speaking of longing for Heaven. I remember turning to my daddy and asking if it was wrong to like it here on Earth; after all I was having a great time, had lots of friends, it was probably sunny that day, etc. I honestly don’t remember what my daddy said in response (I do remember a half-cocked grin) but I know I left that sermon with no greater longing for heaven and almost a determination to enjoy my life here as much as possible.

Jump ahead 12 years (or so) and here I sit in the Midwestville. I have lost one baby; have a daughter with a “special brain”, a son with Autism, and an 18 month old with a will that is stronger than cement. There was a time when I struggled to see the brokenness of our world and now I am struck daily with the rubble. Last week I looked around our table at lunch and my son was shaking his head back and forth over and over and over while my oldest was repeating some sentence over and over and over and my youngest was hurling green beans onto the floor over and over. Brokenness.

That night we read from The Jesus Storybook Bible. I mentioned this book to you guys over a year ago but when I looked into for my kids, decided they were just too “young” to get it yet. This Christmas my brother challenged me to think again and get the book. His challenge to me was to read it to the kids and trust they would get more out of it than I knew. Also, he bet me that my own heart would be touched and changed by what was written in this precious book.

So, we got it and have been reading it. I cry on a regular basis as my heart is touched over and over by Sally Lloyd-Jones’ words. On this particular night we were reading The Servant King the story of the last supper from Mark 14 and John 13-14. I am going to put it here for you:

“It was Passover, the time when God’s people remembered how God had rescued them from being slaves in Egypt. Every year they killed a lamb and ate it. ‘The Lamb died instead of us!’ they would say.

“But this Passover, God was getting ready for an even Greater Rescue.

“Jesus and his friends were having the Passover meal together in an upstairs room. But Jesus’ friends were arguing. What about? They were arguing about stinky feet. Stinky feet? Yes, that’s right. Stinky feet.

“(Now the thing about feet back then was that people didn’t wear shoes; they only wore sandals, which might not sound unusual, except that the streets in those days were dirty – and I don’t mean just dusty dirty – I mean really stinky dirty. With all those cows and horses everywhere, you can imagine the stuff on the street that ended up on their feet!)

“So anyway, someone had to wash away the dirt, but it was a dreadful job. Who on earth would ever dream of volunteering to do it?

“Only the lowliest servant.

‘I’m not the servant!’ Peter said.
‘Nor am I!’ said Matthew.
“Quietly, Jesus got up from the table, took off his robe, picked up a basin of water, knelt down, and started to wash his friends’ feet.

‘You can’t,’ Peter said. He didn’t understand about Jesus being the Servant King.
‘If you don’t let me wash away the dirt, Peter,’ Jesus said, ‘you can’t be close to me.’

“Jesus knew that what people needed most was to be clean on the inside. All the dirt on their feet was nothing compared to the sin inside their hearts.

‘Then wash me, Lord!’ Peter said, tears filling his eyes. ‘All of me!’

“One by one, Jesus washed everyone’s feet.
‘I am doing this because I love you,’ Jesus explained. ‘Do this for each other.’

. . . . couple paragraphs about Judas. . . .

“Then Jesus picked up some bread and broke it. He gave it to his friends. He picked up a cup of wine and thanked God for it. He poured it out and shared it.

‘My body is like this bread. It will break,’ Jesus told them. ‘This cup of wine is like my blood. It will pour out.’

‘But this is how God will rescue the whole world. My life will break and God’s broken world will mend. My heart will tear apart – and your hearts will heal. Just as the Passover lamb died, so now I will die instead of you. My blood will wash away all of your sins. And you will be clean on the inside – in your hearts.’”

“But this is how God will rescue the whole world. My life will break and God’s broken world will mend.” No more head shaking and absent stares from Bubba. Little’s brain will be whole. KB will live to obey J! All that is broken will mend.

Do I long for heaven? YES! Now I long for heaven. Do I want Him to wait and return after my kids grow up and get married? NO WAY! Come quickly Lord Jesus! Mend our brokenness. Be glorified in our mending.